Masturbation Fodder of the Day

A little something to f the b and raise your own roof to.

Brain Aneurysms

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Not only did I go to the premiere of The Words as part of Bradley Cooper’s entourage, I secretly collected his back hair.Not only did I go to the premiere of The Words as part of Bradley Cooper’s entourage, I secretly collected his back hair.

Not only did I go to the premiere of The Words as part of Bradley Cooper’s entourage, I secretly collected his back hair.

Three days out West and I’m already that much closer to owning a casino and taking your tax dollars.Three days out West and I’m already that much closer to owning a casino and taking your tax dollars.

Three days out West and I’m already that much closer to owning a casino and taking your tax dollars.

Last night I had a conversation with God. He told me to stop touching myself to Ricki Lake.Last night I had a conversation with God. He told me to stop touching myself to Ricki Lake.

Last night I had a conversation with God. He told me to stop touching myself to Ricki Lake.

Has anyone else noticed that the older Leonardo DiCaprio gets the more Asian he looks?Has anyone else noticed that the older Leonardo DiCaprio gets the more Asian he looks?

Has anyone else noticed that the older Leonardo DiCaprio gets the more Asian he looks?

What national company responds to someone whose avatar is them being boned by a Ninja Turtle? Worst PR move ever.What national company responds to someone whose avatar is them being boned by a Ninja Turtle? Worst PR move ever.

What national company responds to someone whose avatar is them being boned by a Ninja Turtle? Worst PR move ever.

Just hanging out on the set of A Knight’s Tale 2.Just hanging out on the set of A Knight’s Tale 2.

Just hanging out on the set of A Knight’s Tale 2.

(Source: bootyoftheday)

If I could suck raspberry marshmallow out of a fat man all year round, I’d finally get that cold sore I’ve been asking for.If I could suck raspberry marshmallow out of a fat man all year round, I’d finally get that cold sore I’ve been asking for.

If I could suck raspberry marshmallow out of a fat man all year round, I’d finally get that cold sore I’ve been asking for.

Participating in the weirdest threesome right now. @katiekleinParticipating in the weirdest threesome right now. @katieklein

Participating in the weirdest threesome right now. @katieklein

Can you even imagine what these smell like right now? #BrokenDreams #ChickenRanchGordita #NSFSundayCan you even imagine what these smell like right now? #BrokenDreams #ChickenRanchGordita #NSFSunday

Can you even imagine what these smell like right now? #BrokenDreams #ChickenRanchGordita #NSFSunday